Transform Me

” Health is in season for me. I feel that its time for me to take on a real challenge now. I seriously need to eat better.

Truthfully, its not too hard to do, but there is alot of food out there full of acid and poison around me.  There has to be a better way to life,  but also an enjoyable experience for my taste buds.  I need to get in tune.  I need to build up my inner strength and train my weaknesses.

I cannot continue to eat like this.  I eat bologna sandwiches, sugary cereal and cow’s milk,  ramen noodles all the time,  drink soda and sweet tea all throughout the day and night! Ridiculous! Pasteurized and processed and chemically induced shouldn’t be a way of eating,  because that’ll become a way of thinking.

What’s so enjoyable about getting drowsy and tired when you eat? I should be energized and full of life.  Eating is not supposed to make one tired. It doesn’t make sense. Rejuvenation comes from food intake.  So,  it only makes sense to eat natural foods to energize/ rejuvenate the body.

There are times when I sink.  The energy around me is just so depressing,  I dont know anything positive.  It isn’t constant,  but it is overwhelming and draining. I wish to just stay in bed forever at times.  And its as if nothing in the universe can make me happy.  A failing mistake is me.

But then I have other days when I’m happy as shit and ecstatic and vivacious and just feeling lovely.  These days are a rarity, but they exist.  And when those days come to me, its amazing the effect it has on my life. I can better describe it when im actually having a positive,  vivacious day because today is just not the day.

Its a somber day for me.  A day where, to be honest,  I just want to release from the world.  I have to ask myself, will the natural way really help me?  Turn my down into up?  What the fuck!  Release me!! Take away the constant annoyance!! I feel so angry,  I feel like a mindless idiot with no success.  Im so stressed.  And it starts with u! *points at me* Dont coo me with sweet words like a Sade song. This is ridiculous!  Ugh!!”


I wrote this journal entry at the beginning of June.  Still upset with life.  I found out what was my issue by doing alot of isolation and meditation.  I asked the Most High inside me what was wrong? Why am I not happy?  Im alive arent I?!

But as I disocvered,  like an epiphany,  it was what I was taking into my body that was causing the aggravated behavior.  Soon after I wrote this,  a family member invited me to become her workout partner at the gym.  She had confided in me similar feelings of sadness and we came to an agreement that we should workout more and eat better and thus;  feel better.

I admit,  I still have my days,  but as the month has progressed,  I feel much better. I am eating more vegetables like Spinach,  tomatoes,  mushrooms and bellpeppers.  I drink a smoothie daily.  I love avocado,  berries,  oranges and apples and lemons.  I bought some herbal supplements and Spirulina and flax seeds over the weekend and I am ready for a transformative journey.

I like to look back at journal entries and see if I have grown any sense I wrote them.

It helps to see the progress.  I definitely can feel a positive transformation taking over me.


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